A lot of people can get from what they need from a good book without even coming to therapy. Or, they like doing readings as an adjunct to their work with me. Here are a few of the books that I most often recommend.
I'll update this page as I find good new books. In the meantime, check my blog for my latest thoughts.
If I could recommend one book, this would be it. It basically discusses how the way we view other people is at the root of all of our relationship problems, and that until we make some fundamental changes in that regard, we'll continue to have the same relationship problems over and over again. The more you resent your spouse, or the more you feel their bad behavior justifies your own, the more you need to read this book. I assign it to most of my couples. It follows a man's journey through a day as he goes on a job interview; it's an easy, quick read.
For many couples, the problem is simply the need for better skills. Your hearts are each in a good place, and there aren't any major issues to work through - you're just struggling to communicate. If that's you, this is an excellent book. It has a lot of practical advice for strengthening your communication and deepening your friendship. John Gottman is one of our field's foremost relationship experts.
With the possible exceptions of physical abuse or addictions, there is perhaps no more challenging problem a marriage can face than an affair. If your marriage is struggling through one, you're not alone. I strongly recommend that if there is an affair in your marriage, you come in for counseling. It can be overwhelming to try to navigate the post-affair emotional minefield on your own. As far as books go, though, this one is the most comprehensive book I'm aware of.
This is a wonderful book that can help with many things, including anxiety, depression, compulsive behavior, addictions, etc. It's an easy read, and it packed with practical, helpful advice that you can put into play immediately. I recommend this book to more individuals than any other book.